So, going into today, instead of looking to overtake us, they were looking to avoid being consigned by mathematical impossibility to 5th place. And we were looking to draw level with Statement FC ahead of their likely mauling at the hands of Celtic tomorrow. They won’t be able to read the script but someone will be ready with the stubby crayon in cloven hoof to write the inevitable statement.
After an outstanding outing last week it was hard to see what changes could be made but our manager is nothing but focused entirely and ruthlessly on the job in hand. A place was always going to be found for Scott Allan. And Darren. So that meant dropping Swanson to the bench and Dylan’s cheek bone break consigned him to the stands…but giving us the strongest bench in months. Stronger than the stench of mediocrity that emanates from the Bus Shelter, that much is certain.
Kilmarnock forward, The Rotund Orc Sympathizer, was nominated for the PFA Player of the Year this week. Begrudgingly, I have to say that it is justified. He’s having a career Indian Summer, scoring goals and is the main reason (on the park) why Kilmarnock have accumulated so many points. You never know, given the political mix of the other 3 contenders, he might even win. And he was to almost be the proverbial not being over till the Fat Striker scores routine again today. Almost, I said. Off the park, their manager Steve Clark has also been nominated for the PFA Manager of the Year. Again, deservedly. A dour, uncharitable sort, I find it hard to buy into the media love in with the Killie boss. No doubt he and the plastic pitch have done well this season. Not in question. But he really is a miserable, uncharismatic sod. And his teams can be Turbo Turgid Gunt at times…But it works for the Silly Killie Boys because unlike the Gunts, their Orc reject forward scores goals.
Both of these individuals are in direct competition with two of our shining lights. Our talisman, our favourite son and our manager, full of personality and passion. Today, our team won but our POTY contender was arguably not even as effective as Ordinary John McGinn. Super must have been somewhere else. Lennon must have been pulling his hair out on the sidelines and not just because of his usual pet hate (The It’s All About Me Robertson in the Middle) but his players individual nervousness, concentration lapses and decision making.
I might as well start with the Killie goals. One was a stormer but the build up to the free kick that it resulted from was poor stuff. The second had come from Kamberi and Boyle being defensively, like the Chuckle Brothers – to me, to you, a wee daft flick, and BOOM. And the opening Killie goal was just Keystone Cops. A delivery from our rhs saw the Fat Striker completely unmarked. Completely unmarked and static. And yet he still got a free go courtesy of Efe and Darren. All 3 avoidable, all 3 giving the crowd the collywobbles and Lennon grey hairs. And that was before they had a goal chalked off to make it a possible 4-4 with minutes left.
However, thankfully, we bagged 5 goals at the other end. F-I-V-E. As in 5. And it wasn’t even in the pishy league cup qualifying rounds.
Scott Allan had opened the scoring in the first half with a great near post shot. Steven Whittaker had restored our lead in the second half with a Slivka-esque sneaky run from deep to convert from close range. Jamie had put us in the lead again at 3-2 with a real penalty box strikers play. Great movement and fine strike. Kamberi was strong and imposing as he bagged a 4th but it wasn’t until a Brandon Barker mazy and shot made it 5 that we could relax. It must have been a joy for the neutral but could we do this a little less stressfully please Hibs? Nah, thought not.
Rocky – not too much to do and he had no chance with the 3rd. Distribution was patchy.
Lewis – if Dylan is our metronome, Lewis is Greenwich Observatory. Set your clocks by him. He really is that reliable. Excellent and composed. Somebody had to be
Paul – the best of the central defenders
Darren – Boyd tried to get physical and he had to stand up to it.
Efe- one moment dreaming, the next a dream
Boyle – in and out, at fault for the 2nd with Kamberi
SJM – possibly his least effective game this season
Allan – official MotM. He scored a good goal and contributed to another.
Whittaker – the other player scoring highly on the Stevenson Effort Scale. Good goal too.
Kamberi – works hard but found it a hard shift. Good goal.
Jamie – great strikers finish, sacrificed to bring on Barker
Danny – came on late or Allan. Busy 5 minutes.
Barker- other than the goal, he wasn’t great
Referee – the ignominy of having sent off Lewis once. I’ve not forgotten or forgiven. But my prejudices don’t undermine my opinion that he made it all about himself.
Man of The match – for effort between Lewy and Whittaker for me. But I am going for Lewis. Overall, nobody else came close across the entire 90 mins.
3 MAHOOSIVE POINTS. Mind the gap useless Jambo Bastards. Mind the gap, Fat Striker.
Over to You, Orcs. The pressure on you tonight must be unbearable. Un-fucking-bearable. Probably beggars belief.